Lots of thoughts on many topics today...I don't really know where to begin...
Last night I attended a 20somethings singles group at the church I have been going to. I still don't know how I really feel about it at the moment. The pastor of it is excellent; very passionate about this generation, brought the Word, really got me thinking. Met some nice people, blah blah blah...we'll see if it lasts. I feel like I am searching for something in my spiritual life right now, but I can't seem to figure out exactly what it is.
I have a friend. Well, can I even call him a friend anymore? Reason being, I think our entire friendship was based on an annoyance he had with another mutal person we know. In the beginning of our relationship (meaning friendship--ONLY), we would hang out, go out to lunch, go shopping, but our conversations would revolve around a situation involving this annoyance and his brother. Now that things have gotten resloved in that issue, I do not see him as much anymore. Which is too bad; I really did enjoy hanging out with him and talking with him when our conversations didn't revolve around the single issue. If things don't improve over the next couple months, I am writing it off as a "convenient" friendship on his part. That kind of makes my heart sad.
I have another friend. He was one of my best guy friends in high school, and one of my only Christian friends. I have just recently discovered that he is claiming he is bi, and that he just broke up with a boyfriend. This also makes my heart sad, and I am confused by the entire thing. How does one who grew up knowing Christ and knowing what the Bible says do a complete 180? Nevermind, I know the answer: we're all human. BUT...my friend also claimed to be "living a life of sin." So, it's like he knows what he is doing isn't right, yet he chooses to do so anyway. AND...he never actually told me all of what I know. I found out in a round about way, and everytime I inquired about a significant other, he avoided answering such questions. So, is he feeling ashamed? Does he not want me to know for a reason? This makes me sad as well, because it isn't like I would cut him out of my life and have nothing to do with him ever again. That's not what Jesus taught. I still love him and am very worried for him. All I can do is pray, but I really want to do more...
Lots of deep stuff on my heart tonight, so I'll end with this: I am in my 8th Masters class, and I think I have the most anal professor I have ever met. I don't know if I am in a Masters class or Junior High Comp. It annoys me and frightens me at the same time.
Sigh. It's good to have these things off my chest. Lord, help my attitude towards my professor, and do with these other situations as You desire: You know the desires of my heart in them.
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